This website is intended exclusively for use by individuals who voluntarily
visit and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, or
unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor,
or irrational religious beliefs.
If you visited this site by accident and do not like guns, any dissemination,
distribution, or copying of this site is not authorized (either explicitly or
implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Otherwise most
everything is up for grabs. We would ask that you please give the URL where you
copied it from though.
Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere
other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and
may be ignored.
No animals were harmed in the development of this site, although the yorkie next
door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an
overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no
hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that
Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt
around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and
your pets. If you have visited this page in error, please add some nutmeg and
egg whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it
stand for two hours before icing.
site is constructed completely from recycled electrons.
Standard disclaimers apply
For those that need that spelled out for you:
intended for off-road use.
Best if used before date on carton.
May explode if recharged improperly.
Contains no artificial colors or ingredients.
This product is meant for educational purposes only.
Void where prohibited.
Some assembly required.
List each check separately by bank number.
Batteries not included.
Contents may settle during shipment.
Use only as directed.
No other warranty expressed or implied.
Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
Postage will be paid by addressee.
This is not an offer to sell securities.
Apply only to affected area.
May be too intense for some viewers.
Do not stamp.
Use other side for additional listings.
For recreational use only.
All models over 18 years of age.
lf condition persists, consult your physician.
No user-serviceable parts inside.
No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
As seen on TV.
One size fits all.
Many suitcases look alike.
Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
Colors may, in time, fade.
We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you.
For office use only.
Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
Edited for television.
Post office will not deliver without postage.
List was current at time of printing.
Not the Beatles.
Penalty for private use.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
Do not write below this line.
Your cancelled check is your receipt.
Avoid contact with skin.
Sanitized for your protection.
Sign here without admitting guilt.
Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
Employees and their families are not eligible.
Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery.
You must be present to win.
Use only in well-ventilated area.
Keep away from fire or flame.
Approved for veterans.
Booths for two or more.
Check here if tax deductible.
Price does not include taxes.
Not recommended for children.
No alcohol, dogs, or horses.
Restaurant package, not for resale.
Packaged by weight not volume, some settling may occur during shipping.
Opened for inspection.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Keep out of reach of children.
For external use only.
Do not exceed recommended dosage.
Do not remove this tag until sold for retail.
Dry clean only.
Not for use with the Republican Party.
If left parked for over 10 minutes, may be towed.
Side effects include excess gas with oily discharge.